Meh..

Two weeks in SISPEC has already passed without much affair. All we did was attend lectures, view demonstrations and then pass the technical handling tests immediately afterwards, live firing and IPPT. It's comforting to have the guys from my platoon in BMT as my section mates. At least with familiar faces around, trust, friendship and brotherhood can be further reinforced. The culture here in SISPEC is a distinct contrast from BMTC, with the latter being extremely rigid in terms of discipline, conduct and regimentation. The food, much more tastier than the ones served in Tekong, but I guess it's only a matter of time before I go through the whole meal rotation list and then eventually get sick of digesting the same old stuff day after day.

Being in love is a wonderful thing. You try to take a step back and try to comprehend this feeling, but trust me, you would be better off just going with the flow. I'm doing all I can to avoid past mistakes, because the last thing I would wanna do is to hurt her. I want to make her feel like she's the luckiest girl in the world, make her feel loved and wanted. How I go about doing that, however, is something that I still couldn't find an answer for.

Maybe I'm just too full of inflated expectations, trying so hard all this while to live up to a fucking blueprint of how a perfect relationship should work. At the end of the day, one feels only emptiness and doubtful of the meanings behind those acts of affection, which seem nothing else but mere formality that is expected of you when you don that "attached" status. I would be lying to myself if I said I've never questioned the sincerity of this relationship. Bleargh..